"He ain't heavy, he's me brudder."
12-17-25
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"Let's take it home and throw it out there, so folks'll
think we had a Christmas tree."
1-3-47
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"Before I studied law I couldn't look at an accident
without thinking how much it hurt.  Now I
can't see one without thinking how much
money I could get out of it."
10-21-36
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"_and besides, they say Washington never told a lie,
neither, but I guess the cops never usta ask 'em
in those days "Whatcha hangin' around here fer?"
2-22-30
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"By subway I'm on time but he says I look messy.
By bus I look nice and he yaps because I'm late."
2-21-51
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"I'll be glad when we have peace again and a good
murder on the front page."
8-26-41
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"My own mother, she should live to be a hundred, if
she was standing where you are, couldn't buy
them suits for a penny less."
7-16-41
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"Yeah, it was a good movie, it sorta made you think,
but I was lookin' for somethin' lighter."
1-28
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"Drop the heat for a while, Tim, and when the roomers
come down to complain about it, I'll nab
the rent dodgers."
10-27-42
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"Lookit me - I eat lots a candy, cake, and whipped cream,
but I just take care not to enjoy 'em too much,
That's why I don't get fat."
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"Well, sir, it's not the room you're paying for,
it's the address."
7-6-45
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"Aw, it's nothing - just another World Crisis."
11-13-39
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"I can give you a room with twin beds for a dollar.
But if you occupy both beds, it's a quarter extra."
10-12-31
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"This sun porch set is a bargain, lady, if you've got
a firescape you can put it on."
8-3-51
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"The words she used were simply awful but I excused
her because she was a lady."
10-13-33
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"I can't figure it out. When goods were plentiful, prices
were low and business was bad.  But now goods are
scarce and prices are high and business is still bad!"
4-6-42
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"If we only had a yard of lining for every yard of forms
we fill out, our troubles would be over."
3-15-45
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